Single Reviews of The Latest UK Singles

Single Reviews of The Latest UK Singles


Song-writer Melody and producer Anton took the name The Narcoleptic Dancers in homage to their ball-kicking father, who was apparently a professional Dutch footballer called Johnny van Kappers. He was given the odd nickname by the sporting media due to his peculiar haircut and his nonchalant dribble – which we hope is the footballing term, rather than a gross discharge from his mouth. Anyway, we tried to research Johnny van Kappers, but sadly couldn’t find much info. Bugger!

But his offspring have created some beautiful and breezy pop-folk stuff – with an old-fashioned 1970s-esque vibe that won the Mercury Prize for Bady Drawn Boy in 2000, which wouldn’t sound out of place if it had been featured on successful indie-flick Juno back in 2007…or in 2010 where this type of thang is again back in vogue.

Rated 4 out of 5


Blood Red Shoes apparently got their (horrible) name from Ginger Rogers after she had trained so hard for her appearance with Fred Astaire in the 1936 movie ‘Swing Time’ that her feet were bleeding and her white new york yankees sweatshirt had turned red. Lovely stuff.

Now, while this is a decent effort, if only Blood Red Shoes had followed the dedication of Ginger Rogers to create a blast of classic US punk. It is good in an English lo-fi Pixies type of way, but is just lacking something special to light this up amongst fellow current noisy bands like Sleigh Bells etc.

Rated 3 out of 5

FOREIGN OFFICE – On Repeat New Band Foreign Office’s ultra limited edition single titled On Repeat is released via their very own label Quiet Life Records. The DIY single will be available as a limited edition CD, which has been hand stamped (whatever that means) and wax sealed by the band.

Sounding like the funkier moments from Talking Heads, this makes us feel like we are in 1979 – with the band themselves looking like smart junior members of the Foreign Office. The best comparison would be if Chris Addison’s character in The Thick Of It drank too much strong alcoholic fruit punch and started to think he could be in (the 70s funk band, not the houses of) Parliament. Err…in a good way.

Rated 3 out of 5

PINK – Raise Your Glass

Everybody knows that you have to be female to fully appreciate the (so-called) pop genius of Pink. It’s a girl thing. Here is the new single to help sell a few extra copies of her greatest hits album. Due to penises and Adam’s apples, many of you will be unable to see the brilliant appeal of this.

However, it doesn’t make you want to puncture your own ear drums like other pop stars (hello Cheryl Cole), which I suppose makes most Electric Banana male folk slightly pro-Pink in comparison to other inferior pop rivals. Therefore, we shall at least raise a glass to her…even though it isn’t really our cup of tea.

Rated 3 out of 5


New single Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) (which is also brilliantly streamlined to the snappier Na Na Na) really shows the lyrical growth of My Chemical Romance. Ahem. Yep, it is big, dumb and stupid.

This is like most MCR songs with a big simple/child-like chorus that you will probably quite rightly despise after you have heard it for the fifth time. Girls who like eye-liner will love it, but I’m afraid that this just caused a roll of the eye-brows by the majority of people at Banana HQ. It certainly isn’t an electric nanana. Sorry. Bad joke.

Rated 2 out of 5

McFLY – Shine A Light

Which ones are these again? Are these the ones with that guy from tall guy from Fightstar? No. Sorry, we have absolutely no idea who these guys are. Anyway, they have teamed up with Taio Cruz and abandoned the frothy punk-pop that we imagine they churned out way back in the glory days of 2004.

This is another tragic pop song which is blatantly trying to be a ballad with dance beats like JLS. The title ‘Jumping On The Bandwagon’ would be a much more apt and honest title. But those sly record label types do like to tart this type of thing up as a band “maturing”. It isn’t. This is just a shameful attempt to appear modern.

Rated 1 out of 5

TAKE THAT – The Flood Can you remember where you were when it was announced that musical giants/rivals Barlow and Williams had patched up there differences? It was obviously a momentous event similar to when Russia and America forgot about all that silly Cold War business, or when Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat shook hands in front of the world’s media with a smug-looking Bill Clinton.

Now, you’d want a BIG comeback single to mark this special event and recent colossal ticket sale success wouldn’t you? Well, Barlow has written the blandest song in the history of popular music. Horrible.

Rated 1 out of 5

SHAYNE WARD – Gotta Be Somebody

Oops. We spoke too soon. This has (easily) pipped the Take That boys to the blandest song of all time. Anyway, it’s not often that you should listen to Elton John, but the old dame recently said: “TV vaults you to superstardom and then you have to back it up,” he continued “Leona Lewis and Alexandra Burke are at the mercy of the next song they can get.”

Well, this single means that poor old Shayne is currently in deep deep deep trouble. The former X Factor winner is singing a cover version of a Nickelback song here. NICKELBACK FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!! Now, judging by Sir Elton’s theory, surely Cowell giving him a Nickelback song to sing can be roughly translated as a slap across Ward’s silly designer stubble. Bless. Sadly, the irony of the title is also probably lost on him.

Rated 1 out of 5

write by Waldo

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